Ever dreamed of dating a chef?
Freshly baked pizza’s flying into your mouth after a long day at the office… The smell of cinnamon sticks, cardamom pods, and pine sprigs on your man’s clothes and hair…
It’s easy to romanticize what dating a chef is like. However, our “10 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Chef” will turn your assumptions about dating a professional cook on your head.
And while we’re not discouraging it, we just feel THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE LADIES out there who need to understand what they’re really getting into. The last point is the most important!
1. If you’re working a M-F 9-5, you’ll be completely out of sync
Chefs and professional cooks are on another level with the rest of the world. It’s not just the fact that evening shifts are the busiest and most demanding for most cooks, pro cooks are truly night owls. Service typically ends around 10-11pm, but then there’s clean up, closing duties, and the commute back home. And because service in most restaurants is so intense, it can take a couple hours to unwind due to all the adrenaline. So, after a make out session with their bong and a few south park re-runs, most kitchen pros hit the hay around 4am – just a couple hours before you’ll be waking up.
Oh, and forget your Friday and Saturday night plans and 3-day weekends…
2. You will not get free food at his restaurant
This is an important one. If you want to ensure the continuation of your relationship, DO NOT show up to his workplace expecting free food, or telling the waitress that’s your hubby in the back and to “put it on the house.” Especially don’t make any unreasonable requests or ask for something off the menu. This is his workplace. There is a code of honour for the proper functioning of operations during busy hours and nobody, save the queen, is good enough for an “off menu” meal. So be respectful of the man’s work situation and don’t make a fool of yourself.
3. Don’t assume he will always want to cook for you either!
He’s been cooking ALL day and ALL week for other people. The chances of him having that same level of passion and energy left on his free time is minimal at best. In fact, many pro cooks don’t even want to cook for themselves most of the time. Expect K-D, grilled cheese, microwave burritos and a beer.
What’s good about dating a chef though is that he’ll always be around for quick cooking questions, and will be happy to drop some knowledge bombs.
“How long does cooked chicken last in the fridge?”
“What part of the scallion do you use?”
“How can I stop pasta from sticking?”
4. And if you’re the one cooking, he’ll “spice” it up
Pro cooks have a 6th sense about your cooking. They can tell when you’re about to fuck it up. He’ll swoop in, add some random shit, and save the dinner.
Don’t think he’ll let you take the credit though.
5. He’s going to smell funny
Chefs wear their work on them. You’ll get a daily wiff of garlic, onion, sweat, blood, and fish. Get used to after-work showers instead of morning showers.
6. Avoid getting “grilled” at a restaurant by just picking what he picks
He gets the best stuff. Always. So don’t try to go one up on him. He’ll also want to try whatever you’ve chosen, end up eating almost half of it, and then say it wasn’t that good.
Your other option is sticking to the chefs special. He won’t argue with Chef.
7. Burns, splashes, and cuts? That’s all part of being a chef
You’ll get no sympathy from him.
8. Just because he hates on the dishwasher, doesn’t mean he doesn’t do the dishes
Slamming the dishwasher is part of the kitchen manifesto. The dish washer dies a little everyday for our sins, it’s part of the role (you’ll learn the etiquette over time, don’t worry).
But at home, you can be sure he’ll do his dishes. It’ll consist of throwing away the delivery food bag and washing the one mug he uses.
9. Understand his social circle
Chefs and pro cooks don’t typically have friends outside of their “work crew” and his “boys from back n’ the day…” What he likes is the camaraderie formed by working in high pressure environments and the bond that creates with the kitchen staff – and kicking back a few with his friends from school. It’s the simple, relaxing things that most cooks enjoy, and that includes solitude. They’re the blue-collar workers of the artisanal world.
10. He REALLY appreciates you
He may not always show it – blame it on the annoying customer requests he had to deal with or someone losing their shit in the kitchen. But he really appreciates you putting up with his different way of life, and he will appreciate your loyalty, sense of humour, and capacity to “netflix n’ chill” above everything else. This is the most important thing to remember when dating a chef!